Shakila Faqeeri recently had a chance to speak with Evelyn Fendler-Lee about her experience as a member of the TIFI Board, ILC, and her journey of bringing Focusing and Thinking at the Edge (TAE) into organizational structures. Their conversation follows here:
Shakila Faqeeri: Can you take us back to how you first encountered Focusing? And what drew you to it?
Evelyn Fendler-Lee: I was in the middle of a career as a materials scientist and project leader when I started to have some struggles with my boss at the time. My body was having somatic reactions and I didn’t have the tools to address it, so I sought help. Through a recommendation, I ended up in the capable hands of one of Germany’s leading Focusing teachers.
In the last coaching session, we covered how I would transition into self-employment, which ultimately put me on a whole new trajectory in my career. After that session, I enrolled in a 4-year course of study in person-centered counseling, which incorporated Focusing as a tool or modality, and I completed it in Germany. Shortly thereafter, I got to know Thinking at the Edge (TAE) by helping organize and participating in a workshop. I teamed up with my mentors and instructors and created concepts for how to use TAE in organizations.
Shakila: Was there a definite turning point for you when Focusing became more than a personal tool and started to shape your professional work?
Evelyn: It was when I encountered TAE. That’s where I saw how Focusing could extend beyond personal growth into the realm of creation and innovation in organizations. As I mentioned, I was collaborating on a TAE course at the time, and we were exploring how TAE could help participants develop their own unique theories - for example, their leadership styles.
TAE showed me how to think with the felt sense—not just about what’s personally meaningful, but about ideas, concepts, and even big projects. It brought together my background as a researcher and my desire to work with people in a way that felt deeply creative and human. It was like finding the bridge between the inner world and the outer, practical one in professional settings.
"Leadership isn’t just about strategies and decisions; it’s about relationships, listening, and creating space for others to thrive."
Shakila: How did you see Focusing and TAE fitting into leadership? Were they a natural fit, or did it take time to merge these worlds?
Evelyn: It took some time, but they’re a perfect match. Leadership isn’t just about strategies and decisions; it’s about relationships, listening, and creating space for others to thrive. What I found in Focusing and TAE is that they teach you how to listen on multiple levels—listening to the person, their words, and the deeper intricacies of what they might not yet have words for. Listening for the content is how TAE is different from Focusing and it can open up new ways of relating within companies where there is open dialogue.
Listening in leadership is critical. Leaders who can listen in this way don’t just manage, they create environments where people feel heard and valued which opens up space for innovation. That’s the heart of what I’ve tried to bring to my work. And TAE has applications across all departments within an organization from marketing to operations, and all the way up to leadership.
Shakila: You’ve served on both the Board and the International Leadership Council (ILC) at The International Focusing Institute. How did those experiences shape you?
Evelyn: Serving on the TIFI Board gave me a deeper understanding of how organizations, like individuals, have their own "felt sense." It’s not just about structures or policies—it’s about the dynamics, the culture, and the way people interact. My role on the ILC, with its focus on international perspectives, reinforced the importance of diversity in these interactions, since we are dealing with people all across the globe.
One of the most surprising lessons was the interplay between individual wishes and organizational needs. Focusing attracts people who value self-direction and independence, but running an organization requires structure, rules, and, yes, even dealing with money. Bridging those two worlds—personal freedom and organizational responsibility—was a fascinating challenge.
Serving within a Focusing-centered organization like TIFI is different from interacting in the wider world. We acknowledge the other person, we listen, and there is an acceptance of the contribution and experience of the other person. There exists a goodwill and trust among Focusers that you hardly find in the outer world. Also, for me, serving on the TIFI Board served a crucial function in my life as I transitioned to moving to the USA. The Board was coming into a place where I felt I belonged while I was still in the process of finding footing in my new environment.
TIFI and the Board have come a long way since the days of Gendlin, including implementation of different operational protocols to streamline and improve its governance, efficiency, and functioning. And everyone benefits from that including the public, the members, and the Institute itself.
"I want to see TAE used as it was intended—not just as a tool for self-help, but as a method for creating new theories, concepts, and solutions in professional and societal contexts."
Shakila: You’ve mentioned that TAE has been a big part of your mission within the Institute. What is your vision for it?
Evelyn: I want to see TAE used as it was intended—not just as a tool for self-help, but as a method for creating new theories, concepts, and solutions in professional and societal contexts. TAE has so much potential in industries like technology, education, and leadership. It’s about using the felt sense not just to process what’s inside but to generate something new—something that didn’t exist before.
One of the proudest accomplishments is elevating TAE within the Institute. We now have a TAE symposium, a TAE academy—it’s everywhere. And that’s the beauty of the work for TIFI: if you think something is missing, you can bring it to life. I recommend people volunteer or join a committee within TIFI to get engaged and bring about the change they wish to see within the Institute.
Shakila: Can you share a specific moment where you saw Focusing or TAE make a transformative impact in a professional setting?
Evelyn: One story that stands out is a workshop I ran for an energy company in Switzerland. Two departments had been working on a joint project that failed, and my task was to facilitate a “lessons learned” session. Instead of letting blame or critique gain the upper hand, I introduced elements of TAE. I asked participants to choose images that represented how they felt about the project and then articulate the “crux” of their experience and also “crossings” and “instances” with the teams.
It was incredible to see how the process opened up new perspectives. People shared things they’d been holding back, and the group found ways to reframe their experiences in a constructive way. By the end, what had started as a post-mortem became a springboard for future collaboration.
Shakila: How do you introduce the concept of the felt sense and if there is a resistance to the process of self-reflection or Focusing, how do you help them move past that initial unfamiliar territory?
Evelyn: People often assume that corporate teams aren’t open to self-reflection, but I’ve found the opposite to be true—when you ask the right question. If you ask someone, “What’s really stressing you out?” they’ll often surprise you with their depth of insight. The key to overcoming resistance to self-reflective processes like Focusing or TAE lies in the language we use. Instead of using abstract, esoteric-sounding, or unfamiliar terms, I lean on words already embedded in the corporate world—“tacit knowledge” or “inner knowing.” These terms provide an entry point, making self-exploration feel relevant and accessible rather than foreign or impractical.
I also find that using visuals—such as picture cards—helps ease people in. Images create a bridge to deeper understanding, allowing them to engage without pressure. I’ve found that starting with imagery allows individuals to access their felt sense in a non-threatening way, gradually opening them up to deeper self-exploration.
For instance, I recall my colleagues at BMW whom I had Focusing sessions with were generally open to exploration. But overall, if someone resists self-reflection or Focusing, I approach it with patience, curiosity, and a deep respect for where they are. Resistance often comes from fear—fear of what might surface or fear of being judged. Rather than pushing through that resistance, I create an environment where exploration feels safe and natural.
I guess you could say my superpower is the ability to ask the right questions from a place of deep listening and a felt sense of what’s present. When I work with someone, I don’t impose answers or force insights. Instead, I let my own felt sense be informed by theirs, allowing me to ask specific, fitting questions that help them tap into their deeper knowing.
I often think of it as sailing along the edge of someone’s experience. I can’t enter their intricacy—I wouldn’t want to—but I can move alongside it, holding space for what wants to emerge while gently guiding them toward their own discoveries. At its core, my approach is deeply person-centered, grounded in trust, curiosity, and the belief that the answers people seek are already within them, just waiting to be uncovered.
Ultimately, I meet people where they are, offering gentle invitations rather than expectations. The goal isn’t to force insight but to create the conditions where it can emerge in its own time.
Shakila: Can you tell me a little more about the tool that you developed to assist with the TAE process?
Evelyn: For integrating Focusing and TAE into real-world strategies, it is impractical for companies to engage in the process since many don’t have time to attend a 4-day workshop before making use of TAE. So to make TAE even more accessible for organizations, I co-developed the Thetaland Tool as a practical alternative for teams. Designed as a “game of inquiry,” it allows individuals—whether or not they have prior experience with Focusing or TAE—to engage in self-exploration in an intuitive and playful way. I also offer an accompanying introductory course to deepen the understanding of the tool, with the next cohort potentially launching in March 2025.
"There’s a joy in discovering something new—whether it’s within yourself, through a conversation, or in collaboration with others."
Shakila: What keeps you motivated to continue this work, even when progress or change that you are looking for feels slow or challenging?
Evelyn: Curiosity. That’s what drives me. There’s a joy in discovering something new—whether it’s within yourself, through a conversation, or in collaboration with others. For me, it’s not just about achieving goals but about staying engaged in the process of learning and growing. I also believe deeply in the power of interconnectedness. When we listen to each other and work together, we create something greater than the sum of our parts. That’s what keeps me going.
Shakila: If resources and time weren’t an issue, what project or initiative would you love to undertake right now?
Evelyn: Right now, I’m in the process of updating my website and it feels like more than just a technical task—it’s a reflection of everything I’ve learned, created, and refined over the years. I’ve done so much work in different areas, and now I want to make it all clearer and more accessible, especially for those outside the Focusing world.
My goal is to bridge my background in organizations, leadership, and creative thinking with the deeper, more implicit processes of Focusing and TAE. I’m restructuring my offerings to better serve leaders, coaches, and experts who want to integrate these tools into their own work. It’s a slow and thoughtful process, but one that excites me—because it’s not just about showcasing what I do, but about making this work more available to the people and industries that need it most.
I’m also passionate about shifting TAE back to its original intent, to what Gene Gendlin truly envisioned: creating theories, developing new concepts, and tackling big questions. TAE was designed as a way to think with the implicit, to generate new ideas and frameworks that can shape the world in meaningful ways. And I believe we need that kind of thinking now more than ever (and it’s a promise I made to Gene to carry forward the work in this way).
As for a dream project, I would love to work alongside a research team, guiding them through the entire project using Focusing and TAE. My role wouldn’t be to provide the technical expertise but to facilitate the team’s collaboration, ensuring that each member’s insights, tacit knowledge, and creative instincts are fully engaged.
I envision workshops woven into the research process—moments for reflection, deep listening, and structured inquiry to navigate challenges, refine ideas, and spark innovation. Whether in technology, science, or social change, the real magic happens when people truly listen—to themselves, to each other, and to the unspoken intricacies of their work. Helping a team integrate these processes, not just to complete a project but to elevate their way of thinking and working together, would be a dream come true.
"Real change isn’t just about external shifts; it requires us to stay embodied in the process, to stay deeply human as we navigate transitions and innovation."
Shakila: If we zoom out from individual leaders and organizations, what do you see as the larger societal role of Focusing? How can it contribute to a more compassionate and connected world?
Evelyn: I’m currently working on an article about the inner work of transitions—because whether you’re changing yourself, society, or creating something entirely new, it all starts from within. Real change isn’t just about external shifts; it requires us to stay embodied in the process, to stay deeply human as we navigate transitions and innovation.
Technology, for example, is an incredible tool, but we rarely pause to consider how it will interact with the world. In materials science, before introducing a new chemical to the market, rigorous testing ensures it won’t harm people or the environment. I believe we need a similar approach to new technologies and systems—examining their impact on a human level before we rush them into the world. My hope is that this article will spark deeper reflection on how we can stay grounded, embodied, and intentional as we shape the future.
Shakila: If you could give one piece of advice to someone starting out in Focusing or leadership, what would it be?
Evelyn: My advice to aspiring leaders, thinkers, and Focusers? Stay curious. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. I wish I had learned that earlier in my career—none of us can do this alone, and there’s so much strength in reaching out and collaborating. Seeking coaching, mentorship, or personal development isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an investment in growth.
I believe every leader should have some form of supervision for self-development, and while some have access to coaches, this need goes beyond leadership. Parents, teachers, anyone who holds power or influence over another person—everyone benefits from guidance and reflection. We all need help, and we shouldn’t shy away from asking for it.
As I reflect on my work, I don’t see myself as just a teacher, coach, or organizational expert. I see myself as a bridge—connecting worlds, ideas, and people in ways that honor both the intellectual and the deeply human. The answers we seek aren’t out there somewhere; they’re already within us, waiting to be uncovered through the quiet, transformative act of asking and listening with open curiosity.
Shakila: Finally, looking back on your journey, what has been the most surprising or transformative aspect for you personally?
Evelyn: I think it’s the sense of liberation I’ve found. Through Focusing and TAE, I’ve let go of so many external (and internal) expectations and learned to trust myself. Without ever enrolling in formal therapy, I’ve relied on Focusing as a form of continuous "psycho-hygiene"—a way to clear the psychological clutter that builds up in daily life so there’s room for new things to grow. And that process—it’s not just liberating, it’s joyful.
Through my regular practice with multiple Focusing partners, I’ve developed the resources to bring my whole self to life’s challenges. This journey has helped me move past external expectations, embrace self-belief, and face struggles with greater clarity and resilience. While new challenges will always arise, the deeper burdens that once weighed me down have been worked through, leaving me with a sense of freedom and lightness that I carry into both my life and my work.
Shakila Faqeeri is a US lawyer and Certified Focusing-Oriented Practitioner who helps high-achieving professionals break free from anxiety, overwhelm, and burnout. Using a powerful blend of practical tools, deep inner work, and Focusing, she guides clients to reconnect with their inner wisdom, find clarity, and create a life where professional success can coexist with personal fulfillment. If you're ready to regain balance and move forward with confidence, you can reach out at: https://www.newsletter.shakila.me/