In Memoriam
Marion N. Hendricks-Gendlin
November 5, 1944 – March 28, 2015
Mary was the Director of The Focusing Institute for many years, conducting workshops and lectures on Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy worldwide. She received her client-centered training at the University of Chicago and was in private practice for thirty years. She was one of the founders of CHANGES, a community therapy network where she trained clients, students, and therapists in listening and Focusing, and participated in developing training materials. She interned at the Post-Graduate Center for Mental Health in New York City, and then worked as a psychologist-trainer in the New York State Hospital system. She was a core faculty member at the Illinois School of Professional Psychology in Chicago for ten years, where she established and taught the Experiential/Client-Centered specialization. Mary was in many ways the heart and soul of the Institute alongside her husband Gene.
COMMENTS:
Joe Says:
March 28th, 2015 at 11:16 pm
I will miss you Mary!
Catherine Torpey Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 5:49 am
I am deeply saddened by Mary’s passing. I only began getting to know her this past year, but I felt a warm and intimate connection with her. She was so open and kind with me and I was looking forward to getting to know her better and better. I mistakenly thought I would have many years to learn from the wisdom of her experience and her sharp mind. My heart goes out to Gene and her whole family and to all of you who knew her and loved her for so many years.
Akira Ikemi Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 6:26 am
Mary, I am saddened to hear of your passing. We have met 35 years ago when Gene took us out to eat Chinese food in Chicago. Although we interacted less frequently in recent years, I was happy to work with you on the TFI board. I was also very much impressed by your response to me on the coordinator’s list, when you wrote about the gust of wind and leaves outside your window. How the whole thing was one Process. May your soul be blessed. May you be liberated from illness and physical suffering that you have endured for many years.
Gene, I am sending my deepest condolences to you and Elissa. I wonder if there is anything I can do for you.
Peter Afford Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 8:53 am
Farewell Mary, thank you for everything you gave us. And love and sympathetic thoughts to Gene.
Rob Foxcroft Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 9:04 am
I am very sad. I am sad for the long and difficult journey that Mary travelled in recent years. It has been very painful. So her passing feels both a sadness and a relief. I had feared that there might be year after year of struggle and decline. I am glad that part is over. And there is much to rejoice in. Mary’s gentleness and clarity seemed to me to be completely unaffected by the ruin of her physical frame. In long conversations fifteen months ago, she was steadily present, clear-minded, steady in her vision and her generous looking-forward, kind and receptive, still able to listen with uncanny empathic accuracy, still able to convey her presence and engagement, still generous (the word comes again) in her appreciation for others, generous in her commitment to not-having-power-over others; and still unfathomably, illimitably and devotedly committed in her love for the two people closest to her, Gene and Elissa. It was very moving to see this deep bond of affection and loyalty. When Mary was here in Scotland, she rested under a dark green blanket that I have, very soft to touch; and when I took part in a play-therapy workshop this past Thursday and Friday, I took this blanket with me, and sat on it when it was my turn to be the playing child. Dear Gene and Elissa, I send (as Akira says) my deepest condolences and I too wonder if there is anything I (or we) can do for you.
Eveline Moor Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 9:33 am
Dear Mary, I will never forget you speaking to us new certified trainers at Stony Point in 2000. I carry it in my heart. I carry it into my focusing work. Your being will continue to live in the work of many of us. Thank you Mary for all. With sincere condolences to Gene and the whole family.
Suzanne Noel Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 10:47 am
Mary’s gentle soul and love of the revolutionary pause is like a meandering stream touching the landscape of Focusing, reminding us not to allow the spirit of Felt Sensing and Felt Listening to dry out with with oppressive structures. May her wish to see Felt Sense Literacy become a world-wide reality come true. She walked the talk. My deepest condolences to Gene and her family for this huge loss.
Pat Omidian Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 10:50 am
I sit in Monrovia saddened by this news and by the fact that I cannot easily call Gene to send him love and caring. So I send it through my heart and the earth, holding him, their daughter and her family and all of us in gentle caring. I did not see her when I was in the region before and now I hold also regret. I met Mary the first time when I was on my way to Afghanistan to run the Quaker office there (2004). It was a wonderfully supportive conversation.
What I took from that was to make sure we use the name “Focusing” to give credit and recognition when we work. At that time I had done some work for the IRC and the person writing the document wanted to call what we were doing “visualization exercises” and I was ready to accept that change. Mary said no! And she was right. So we, Nina Joy and I, started to look at what we do as “Focusing And …”.
Mary’s insights and perceptive sense were always helpful to me. I will truly miss her. And I grieve…Hello to this place in me that has grief. Ah… something shiny comes… Hello to that in me that is grateful for her kindness and support. I hold that place with a sense of release.
With love
Isabel Gascón Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 11:24 am
Dear Mary,
I would like to pay tribute to you, Mary, although your modesty was not so much in favor of such public expressions of love and acknowledgment..
I met you 16 years ago, and you were a role model and a referent in my life, it was because of you that my connection to Focusing became the way it is.
We would not be here without you, Focusing would not have reached so far without your contributions, your work and your wisdom.
Your dedication and help to Gene and to all of us deserve a place of honor.
I will always, always feel thankful, and remember your eyes, your presence, your words.
With lots of love,
Isabel
Hanspeter Mühlethaler Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 11:47 am
I met Mary in 2001 in a TAE workshop she guided together with Gene in Stony Point. It was one of the highlights in my “Focusing life”. Mary’s article on Positive Regard in Psychotherapy” is still a inspiring illustration of TAE, I get back to it on a regular base to get a deeper undertanding of the steps. I will alway keep Mary in my memory.
I wish to express my heartfelt sympathy to Gene and the whole family.
Hanspeter
Mia Leijssen Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 12:06 pm
At one of our focusing conferences Mary held a talk where she expressed a simple way of reminding herself of the focusing attitude. Just by saying to herself “Wait a minute …”. Ever since I learned that from her, I use that phrase in all those situations where I risk to be overwhelmed by pain, discomfort, helplessness, uncertainty, chaos. I can imagine that she needed a lot of love and patience to remind herself to give herself a restful pause in her latest life stage when she had to cope with so much suffering. Nevertheless her commitment to her teacher and husband Gene Gendlin and her firmly held belief in the value of trusting the inner wisdom was carried forward. Now that her “pause” has taken an universal quality I hope that her beloved family and the worldwide focusing community finds solace and inspiration in her never ending presence and love. With deeply felt appreciation, Mia
Monika Gos Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 12:50 pm
I met Mary only once, when she came to meet the newly certified trainers at Stony Point. I remember her gentle, quite but powerful way of being. She was an inspiring person. I love what you Suzanne wrote about her in a beautifully composed image of what she is for Focusing. My deepest condolences and sympathetic thoughts to Gene and his family.
Stefan Beyer Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 2:21 pm
I met Mary only once at an International Conference. We had exchanged emails before, but it was important for me to meet her in person. Mary often encouraged me to do (especially publish) things, and I am very grateful for that. About her passing I sense both a loss in the fabric or net of the Focusing community, and a peace – as if she is in a peaceful state or place now.
Larry Hurst Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 3:00 pm
Her soft-spoken dedication lit a path for all who care to follow.
Melinda Darer Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 3:12 pm
I am speechless and filled with many emotions. Over the course of 19 years, Mary and I developed multiple types of relationships and we were very close. I am sure for each of us it was the longest working relationship we ever had with anyone. Mary hired me when TFI first moved to New York. We worked very closely for a long time until she was unable to. I learned so much from her on how to be, and together we created a very special organization full of empathy and care in our interactions, and we created a network for people to find each other.
Even after I left TFI she was so supportive to witness my growth and see new possibilities for Focusing in the world.
We communicated as recently as a few weeks ago. She was returning my call and was very excited to hear my voice.
I am saddened to know how much she suffered and hope that she is now in a better place. My love and care go to Gene and his family.
Barbara Dickinson Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 3:28 pm
Mary was only known to me after she had become ill, and yet her grace, peace, clarity, beauty and intellect were undimmed. Now, she has left her suffering, and the rest of us, behind, but she has also left a global legacy of wisdom, forward-living, diversity, revolution, and gentleness freely given to all. For this, I am forever grateful, and for the short time I knew her, I am blessed. May her new existence in our hearts and memories bless us and guide us forever more.
Satoko Tokumaru Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 3:41 pm
Mary, thank you for everything you gave me. I never forget your graceful gentleness.
Daniel Kuma Baerlocher Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 3:42 pm
Mary with us, sharing about Focusing, in their house in Upstate New York, the late fall daylight slowly fading. I recall we eventually sat in darkness in that living room, comfortably, deeply in our ruminating, sensing and talking: Annette Kindlimann, now my wife, and our Focusing friend from Hamburg, Ralf Rehder. It was just before our Certification Weeklong in Stony Point, 1998. Mary, her vision, her projects, her mission: Become engulfed in Focusing, was the bottom line, and spread it! And there was something shy about her, yet determinedly endearing. Our sympathetic thoughts go to Gene and Elissa, who played the violin for us, on the spot, spotless! Kuma
Calliope Callias Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 4:45 pm
Dear Mary,
Thank you for showing me, and so many other people, the road!
May you rest in peace and in knowing that we are working in carrying Focusing forward.
May Love be with you in the Beyond!
Love to you Gene, your family, and the whole focusing community!
Calliope
Dieter Mueller Brigitte Domas Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 5:31 pm
We are profoundly sad for the loss of Mary and all our thoughts are going to Gene and Elissa,
With lots of love Brigitte and Dieter
Laura Pappada Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 6:56 pm
I feel privileged to have the possibility to meet her, and I feel deeply sorry that this cannot happen anymore. Rest in peace, Mary.
Laura
Tomeu Barceló Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 7:13 pm
La comunidad de focusing de España está triste y conmocionada por el fallecimiento de nuestra amiga y maestra Mary. Siempre estará presente entre nosotros como lo ha estado desde que conocimos el tesoro de focusing que nos legó ella y Gene.
La tendremos presente en nuestro transitar y deseamos acompañar a Gene y a la familia en estos difíciles momentos.
Un abrazo
Tomeu
rosanna camerlingo Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 7:37 pm
Grazie Mary! Ovunque tu sei. Il tuo impegno e la tua dedicazione al Focusing hanno dato la possibilità a tante persone come me, che non ho mai avuto l’onore di conoscerti, di imparare questo prezioso metodo che diventa in modo di esserci. E allora grazie per aver reso il mondo migliore. Non sei passata invano e Madre Terra te ne è grata. Grazie sia lieve il tuo passaggio. Sarai sempre con noi e con Gene. La mia preghiera per te che ora sei nella luce, ma ancora di più in questo momento, per Gene. Tanto amore e gratitudine a te e a Gene. Il Signore ti benedica. Rosanna Camerlingo
N.b sorry but my english is very little so i prefere in this momento
René veugelers Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 8:11 pm
this is sad, confronting and incomprehensable news. Words can not cover this experience. wishing Friends family and relatives warmth and an open space in this common period!
Steve Moscovitch Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 8:29 pm
Thank you Mary all that you contributed to the world of and through Focusing . Though we met only a few times , your encouragement of me and has touched those that I have touched through
Focusing . May you be at rest. Blessings and love to Gene and family .
Frans Sandbergen Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 8:40 pm
Dear Mary,
Over the ten years that I’ve been studying with Gene now I have enjoyed the often short but always special moments of meeting with you. Even in the times that a general, increasing slowness had entered into your body, it was very clear that your mind was as crystal clear as ever.
I’m still grateful and touched by the comment you wrote for Het Wil (It Wants), the book I have written some five years ago. You expressed the way it had touched you in such a heartfelt way that it brought not only you but also me to tears.
I was very pleasantly surprised each time that you would join Gene and me having our intense kind of conversation, with such a genuine interest and contagious kind of curiosity.
I experienced you as always very ‘fresh’ in your openness and I thank you for that. It is a felt appreciation that touches my heart and I’m sure this has happened to many, many people.
Travel safe to your next destination…
Love,
Frans
Rosa M Martinez Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 9:01 pm
Querida comunidad internacional de focusing, todos podemos estar junto a la sensación de pesar y pena q nos deja la desaparición de Mary! Quisiera q a Gene le pueda llegar un gran abrazo amable y sereno q le aporte apoyo y serenidad! Saberse y sentirse querido y respetado y saber y sentir q somos muchos quienes lamentamos la pérdida de Mary!!!
susan rudnick Says:
March 29th, 2015 at 11:53 pm
Mary was the first ever person to listen to me in a focusing way. I will never forget my amazement at how deeply she touched me, and how I immediately knew I wanted to learn from her. I was so privileged to have her as my teacher.
Profound gratitude.
Mary, you are in my heart.
Edgardo Riveros Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 12:55 am
Dear Mary
I know that now everything is bright for you.
The Murmur of the Forest in a new dawn in the eternity that welcomes you with great avenues. Your presence is now more bright and happy, no suffering, only the murmur of the forest.
Remember the last time you wrote us reached the resurgence of life in the Spring of 2014, you were amazed to sprout flowers, your constant perception of life, where others we could not see.
I remember the day I firss met you, we shared many emails and phone calls, and when we finally met, before you say anything you invited me PAUSE to “see” inside how was our meeting at that moment. We saw a giant flower garden that had germinated in distant places of our planet.
I try to calm my sorrow with those flowers then.
My heart is full of gratitude for you. For leading the growth of the Focusing Institute in the hearts of humanity without ethnic or religious or countries distinctions, hearts where only inhabit these luminous felt sense of people around the world.
Great Journey for you, a new star shines in the sky today, our love for you will look every night of this world, feeling your Presence.
Roberta Whitney Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 1:14 am
Thank you, Mary for all you have given so many and toward creating work that has and will continue to inform/transform lives and professional practices. I join others in remembering and honoring you and yours.
Carlos Aceituno Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 3:26 am
Mary me recibio muy bien, me hablaba calidamente cada vez que la encontraba y me presento personalmente a Gen.
Cuando almorzamos juntos en varias oportunidades sentía su atenta escucha y su gran corazon.
Siempre estara en nustro corazón, no se te podra olvidad.
Mucho agradcimiento a toddas sus amabilidades.
Carlos Aceituno de Guatemala
Kevin Krycka Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 3:51 am
Thank you Mary for all you have done in your life and especially for what you leave with us. The great gifts of TAE, Focusing, the Pause…And as you say, it’s all one process in which your gentle wisdon will carry forward into the world
Blessings and peace on this next part of your journey.
rosanna camerlingo Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 11:38 am
There are people who you have not known, except in an indirect way as Mary, then it happens that she goes away and you realize that there is now a large empty…this empty is a a part of you that seemed distant at least in space, but that was woven with you in this amazing interaction, continuous and infinite that is Life. Thanks Mary! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. From Naples, the ancient city as Nineveh that will not die.
(I can try to write in english..)
Karin Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 11:48 am
My deepest condolence to Gene and Elissa. My love and thoughts are with all of us, who knew and loved her. She and her profound work will never be forgotten and live on. May she rest in peace. With love, respect and sadness
Karin
Aaffien de Vries Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 12:41 pm
Dear Mary, I think of you in gratefulness for and in admiration of your open, respectful and compassionate presence and your powerful and unwavering commitment to focusing. In spite of your fragile stature and health you have shown a never ending resilience and ongoing power. Your own contributions to the development and spreading of focusing are prodigious. The way you have inspired, encouraged and support so many people in the entire world (including me!) to find their own way to use and spread focusing is indescribable. You have lived Diversity.
May your soul rest in peace.
My thoughts are with the beloved ones around you, especially with Gene and Elisa.
Francesca Castaldi Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 2:10 pm
In a busy small town city street in the Northern of Argentina, I hold Mary in my heart in this delicate moment of transitioning/passing, so vulnerable for those most close to her and all of us who were touched by her being.
I treasure having met you Mary, during my first Thinking at the Edge workshop and feeling your caring determination that Gene’s philosophy would be communicated to us in a relevant way, making a difference in our living and thinking right there so we could take it home with us and continue on our own. I remember how you made a point to connect with every participant, listening to each starting sentence of our project, with so much respect and honesty.
And I remember when you delivered the paper on the revolutionary pause at one International, I was so moved by it and so inspired. I understood the importance of what you called felt-sense literacy from it. May we continue to grow in this direction, rooting stronger in it with your passing.
I have the sense of a clear body of water and bubbles that from the depth come to the surface and disintegrate. Your life now, like a bubble that has followed its course and its bursting and dissipating its flavor and essence more widely. May we take time to honor you by rooting those qualities that touched us, and let them live in us with the grace and variation that you so much fostered.
With love and heartfelt caring for Gene and family.
Serge Prengel Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 4:05 pm
Dear Mary,
Nothing can replace your loss… but in the hearts of the many people you have touched, what you inspired lives on. Your words about the Revolutionary Pause made a profound impact on me. In the coming weeks, I am planning to take opportunities, every day, to take a ‘revolutionary pause’ in such a way that I can share this experience with others. I will be allowing my pausing to be seen by the people I am engaging with, as opposed to hiding it. Depending on the circumstances, I could share more about that kind of pause, transmitting the experience of it, and possibly saying something about Focusing in general, and you in particular.
Betty McCorkle Says:
March 30th, 2015 at 6:31 pm
My heart goes out to Gene and Ellisa and to Mary’s sister, Carol, and to the caretakers and Focusing community who are feeling this deep loss. I am so grateful to Mary for teaching me Focusing. It has transformed my work and my life. Her gentle wisdom and fierce loyalty to family and TFI will remain an inspiration.
British Focusing Association Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 11:55 am
Dear Gene and Elissa,
We, who are members of the British Focusing Association, are deeply saddened by Mary’s passing. We send our heartfelt condolences to you and all your loved ones at this time of loss and grieving.
Two of our members met focusing for the first time at the same meeting, when Mary made her visit to England. One of those members writes: “My first experience of focusing was witnessing Mary give a demonstration at a conference in Durham in 2002. I still remember the tingle down my spine. A very special lady.”
We salute Mary’s great contributions to focusing, both in public and (very often) behind the scenes. We are aware of her passionate commitment to diversity. We saw how much it mattered to Mary that people should be led by an inner sense of knowing, rather than by any rule imposed upon them by others. We are thankful for the freedom that this has given us in our work with focusing. We recognise Mary’s commitment to the poor and disadvantaged of the world, her burning desire for everybody everywhere to achieve Felt Sense Literacy.
Some of us knew Mary and experienced at first hand her kindness, presence and empathy, her wonderful gifts of listening and human relationship. Others of us benefit from her work indirectly though we had no chance to meet her. We are all aware how much she gave, and (especially in these years of ill health) how much it must have cost her.
Mary was like an olive tree. Her roots spread out deep in the ground. She found water for everybody even in times of drought. Her clarity, vision, courage, gentleness and wisdom will always be remembered. Our hearts are with you, both in the sadness of Mary’s passing, and in the celebration of a generous life, well-lived.
With all good wishes,
The members of the British Focusing Association.
Harriët Teeuw Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 2:08 pm
Dear Mary, We never met in person, nevertheless your words reached me in your crystal clear letters and publications.I feel gratefulness for the heritage you left us. My thoughts are with Gene, Eliza, family and friends.
Claude Missiaen Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 2:43 pm
Dear Mary,
we met only once, in 2000, in Chicago. It was a very warm and supporting contact, I think for the both of us. We referred to this encounter in some emails ever after. I still have this photograph of it, along with the nice memories. Thank you so much for all you have done and have meant for me and for us, and may your soul rest in peace.
Claude
Antoni Riera Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 3:49 pm
Thank you, Mary for all you have given so many and toward creating work that has and will continue to inform/transform lives and professional practices and lisen the hard.
Artie Egendorf Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 6:35 pm
Thank you, dear dear Mary, for your gift of a devoted lifetime, such uncommonly steadfast support of the work you loved into blossoming, love and care for Gene, Elissa, and for this world community of gently pausing inquirers into the way oracular knowing comes to us now as “focusing.” And for your sweet, caring and knowing “thank you’s” and greetings to so many over these decades: eternal blessings.
Jim Grant Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 10:23 pm
Blessed journeys Marion,
Thank you for your presence and service in bringing Focusing to the world solidly beside Gene and this amazing community of practice…
Best,
Jim
glenn fleisch Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 10:53 pm
Dear Mary,
Your spirit has been a guiding light, illuminating the path and the growth of Focusing. I recall with great fondness an interaction we had when I was a relative newcomer to Focusing. You showed such caring, warmth and attentiveness to a stranger that it touched me deeply- and your presence felt so safe and welcoming.
This is both a great loss to the community- yet your life and being are a wondeful gift to all of us. I know that your spirit will continue to shine on us, and your contributions will be carried forward in future generations.
With love and gratitude,
Glenn
Raymond Lambert Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 11:04 pm
Saddened at the news of Mary’s passing yet happy to have known that you were together for so long. As a couple you are a real model for today, and for me, a testimony to your wonderful work. Wishing the whole family strength and peace. With love.
Joan Klagsbrun Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 11:22 pm
Dear Mary,
My heart is very heavy with grief at your passing but also gratitude for all you have given to our world wide community and to me personally. You were a visionary leader who saw the potential for Felt sense literacy to change the world. You were a gifted thinker, writer, and teacher and an inspiring listener– who could reflect back every facet of what you heard in such a way as to make the speaker feel not just heard, but deeply known. Your devotion to Gene and Elissa were legendary. And I was lucky to count you as a loyal and deep friend. When illness and suffering befell you, you showed remarkable courage and grace–and your commitment to the Focusing Community never wavered.
Many years ago when I was about to present to a large group of professionals and was anxious about how to best do it, you gave me some wise advice. “Just pause and then let Focusing do the work for you.” Your words instantly calmed me, and I hear your voice still.
May your deeply held values ( stated in the mission statement for TFI) be a legacy and a blessing to us all.
Yael Bacharach Says:
March 31st, 2015 at 11:42 pm
With sadness and appreciation I remember Mary. She brought Focusing in to my life and demonstrated so beautifully how sharing vulnerability with a group is strength. She was special.
Giving so much with such grace, I will always value our meeting.
Diffusion Focusing Québec Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 12:27 am
À la mémoire de Mary Hendricks, (en français and in english)
C’est avec grande tristesse que nous avons appris le décès tout récent de Mary Hendricks Gendlin qui a tant contribué au développement du Focusing.
Touchés par ce départ, il est difficile de trouver les mots justes pour exprimer la profondeur de nos sentiments. Au nom des membres de la communauté de Diffusion Focusing Québec, nous tenons à transmettre à Gene Gendlin et à sa famille ainsi qu’à toute la communauté de Focusing, nos plus sincères condoléances. Nous vous accompagnons en pensée au cours des semaines à venir.
Les membres du Conseil d’administration de Diffusion Focusing Québec:
Solange St-Pierre, Marine de Fréminville, Denis Archambault, Diane Couture, Richard Lajeunesse.
It is with great sadness that we learned of the recent death of Mary Hendricks Gendlin who contributed so much to the development of Focusing as we have come to experience it. We are so deeply affected by this departure that it is difficult to find the right words with which to express our feelings. On behalf of the community of Diffusion Focusing Quebec, we wish to convey to Gene Gendlin, his family and the entire Focusing community our heart-felt condolences. We support you in thought and feelings over the coming weeks.
The members of the Board of Diffusion Focusing Quebec: Solange St-Pierre, Marine de Fréminville, Denis Archambault, Diane Couture, Richard Lajeunesse.
Joyce McWilliams R.N. P.N. Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 1:03 am
I was shocked and saddened to hear of the passing of Mary Hendricks. I have the DVD made in 1999 of Focusing with Eugene Gendlin. Mary gives the introduction. I use it for my Focusing classes. I trained at the institute I believe, in 1982 and Mary was in the program. I will miss her as all of us will. She was a blessing to all of us.
Joyce McWilliams R.N. P.N.
Ojai CA
[email protected]
Beatrice Bircher Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 5:50 am
Mes priers sont avec vous, mes pensées avec Gene et sa famille. De tout mon coeur j`envoye mes condoléances avec une gratitude profonde pour Mary et Gene.
莊磊 Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 7:20 am
願逝者安息，往生極樂
JOHN STEWART Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 8:38 am
I am deeply sorry about your sad news. Having just co-facilitated a trauma group for 18 weeks, once a week in London, UK, the Focusing work was an integral part of our course and clients were enthusiastic. I never had the pleasure of knowing Mary Hendricks Gendlin, but clearly her and her husband’s work continues to be a vast, spacious, loving, pragmatic and spontaneous way to facilitate reparation and good health. With my deep condolences and respect to clearly a life well lived and lovingly passed on and experienced.
Egbert Monsuur Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 9:37 am
Mary, when I think about the time when I had the privilege to meet you during the Weeklong in 2002 I feel you as the lady with beautiful and strong intensions.
You are not gone, you are still alive in my heart.
Gene, I’ll hold you and Mary’s family in my heart and my prayers. May God bless you with comfort and courage.
Carlos Alemany Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 9:55 am
Catherine: I have known Mary in July of 1980 when Gene invite me to her house to dinner an excellent fresh fish.
Since that time we have frecuent encounters, specially in the international conferences. Some times she guide my tears coming from my felt sense in a very empatic way.
She was an excellent and empatic guide, showing how to be silent waiting the nest and being open to the reality in many ways,
Carlos Alemany Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 10:04 am
Catherine: I have known Mary in July of 1980 when Gene invite me to her house to dinner an excellent fresh fish.
Since that time we have frecuent encounters, specially in the international conferences. Some times she guide my tears coming from my felt sense in a very empatic way.
She was an excellent and empatic guide, showing how to
be silent waiting the nest and being open to the reality in many ways, empathetic, sensible, calid, good whife for her husband, and very commited with the expansion of the Internanional Focusing Institue, all over the wordl.
We are going to mise her a lot, but at the same time we are proud of our work and friendship with her. God bless
Mary and Gene, Carlos Alemany.Madrid. Spain
Ton Coffeng Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 10:35 am
Sad to learn that Mary died. The previous news of her illness was a shock already.
I have good memories of her since the impressive workshop she gave with Gene in Holland (1981). We kept in touch. I appreciate her work as director of the Institute. She had contributed to the book “Focusing” in the early days.
I remember her humor and her urge for concrete action steps. One sentence was impressive when she presented (PCE-2000, Chicago): “You saved my life”, meaning how important the encounter with focusing and Gene was for her. My thoughts are with Gene.
Pamela Carr Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 10:35 am
I want to write and unsure what to say, so I’m pausing…I’m thinking of you all, Gene, Mary, family and friends and everyone connected with Focusing all around the world. I am so touched by these heartfelt messages and I feel so close to you all at this time. Sending my love, warm wishes and deepest gratitude, Pamela
Campbell Purton Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 10:42 am
I was very saddened to hear of Mary’s passing. I remember all her help and support when Judy Moore and I were setting up a focusing diploma at the University of East Anglia, and also her generosity in helping me to make copies of many of Gene’s unpublished papers, when I visited their home in New York. It was through her inspiration, at a talk in Durham, that we were encouraged to go ahead with the UEA Diploma. After that talk, Mary, Judy and I went to a service in Durham Cathedral, which included a candlelit procession to the tomb of St Cuthbert. I just found the following quotation from Cuthbert
Sometimes I plunge through the press of waves
unexpectedly, delving to the earth,
the ocean bed. The waters ferment,
sea-horses foaming …
Tell me, wise man:
who separates me from the sea’s embrace,
when the waters become quiet once more,
the waves calm which before had covered me?
王娟 Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 11:57 am
愿逝者安息。
René Veugelers Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 1:07 pm
Bey Mary, almost no words…. just a deep breath and sensing inside……Sending warmth and gentleness to Gene, your family and relatives in this common period
René from the Netherlands
Eunsun Joo Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 1:17 pm
I cherish the fond memories that we shared at your
home in January, 2011. It was so generous of you and Gene
to invite me and my students. Your warmth deeply
moved us. Mary, I will miss you
and your friends in Korea will miss you~
Hideki Kamimura Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 2:15 pm
I also lament the death of Mary.
I saw her in the international conference and Week-long three times. Every time she welcomed us from Japan, which I felt from her facial expressions and words.
Above all, the first meeting of May 2002 was a vivid memory, when as a newspaper reporter I interviewed her
in Asilomar, the U.S. I’ll quote the article below.
When I tried to ask some questions that were prepared, Mary urged me to ascertain, “Is it what you really want to ask me?” She answered my questions, taking a little time, when she waited for the perfect words to come to her mind. She explained to me that focusing was “the experience of different levels occurring in the human experience”. She said that through linking with feltsense which was under the two levels that were “thinking” and “involved in emotion”, we could change how to use words and how to deal with our bodies, which was enable words to carry forward our experience. Otherwise, she also said that “words might ruin experience”, and warned our heads not to ignore our true hearts.
“Revolutionary pause” of her words was impressive. It can be translated into revolutionary little pause or to make sure our own inside after taking a breath. She talked about an expectation that focusing would be a bridge between Japanese and Westerners.
I will pray for the souls of her sincerely.
Shirley Turcotte Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 3:17 pm
Sending prayers to Gene and Ellisa and the Focusing community as Mary walks on. What I loved about Mary was her openness and support in promoting Aboriginal perspectives to Focusing. Through many meetings and conversations thoughout many years, she promoted our vision of integrating Focusing Oriented Therapy with Aboriginal Psychology perspectives. We have saved many many lives in many locations. She is a mighty ancestor. One of my favourite memories of time with Mary, was eating some kind of health cereal with her at breakfast, after a sleepover ..with blueberry juice instead of milk..was yummy after hours of pouring over program designs the night before, She was always interested in what we were up to in Canada in the Indigenous communities.
windy childs Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 4:09 pm
Mary, the Focusing community will miss you as I will also!
Engelbert Langhammer Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 4:09 pm
In my practice stands a Buddha in the mudra of fearlessness and giving protection.
When I was lucky to listen to Mary´s keynote address at the 15th International in Pforzheim, Germany in 2003, she convinced me immediately with her gracefull and upright gentleness. In her example of “a revolutionary pause” she mentioned a mother courageously taking a stand in the face of a complex, pressing situation after having given birth to her child, saying to the pediatrician and to the technican: “Wait a minute.Stop.” So elegant, so simple, so precise!
I am consoling myself by believing, she is now on her way home and I am sending comforting greetings to Gene, Eliza, friends and relatives.
Engelbert
Steve Queller Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 4:59 pm
She was a wonderful human being.
Caring, helpful, encouraging and a wonderful listener.
My condolences to Gene and their daughter.
Margot Browning Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 5:36 pm
I salute Mary Hendricks of the early Focusing days in the 1970s, one of the leaders of a women’s consciousness-raising group, with women from Hyde Park and elsewhere in Chicago, meeting in South Shore. Among an accomplished group of young professionals and graduate students, Mary’s special charisma was radiant and gentle; her movement was lithe and grounded; her voice like clear resonant flute notes; her eyes seeing far and steady. As others have written eloquently, her very presence was inspiring; she shared special gifts. With thanks for all she’s done and continues to do through us all.
Rosa Zubizarreta Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 6:54 pm
Dear Mary… you are not gone. I refuse to believe you are gone. You are here, in our hearts. You, who moved and touched so many with the depth and the nuance of your listening, you yourself were also so moved and touched, whenever you felt the care that others had, that others have, for you.
I know you are here, Mary, here among us, living on in all of the many ways that you have inspired us… and, I still miss you, we still miss you, even though you are here with us in so many ways.
I wish you a deep and heartfelt ease, Mary, an ease that comes from the fullness of knowing that the breadth of your vision lives on, that the care you embodied lives on, that YOU live on in our hearts and minds, that you are held here, with love…
Dear Gene, dear Elissa, I am so sorry… holding you in my heart with much love…
Bill Sterner Says:
April 1st, 2015 at 7:20 pm
Mary’s presence, her firm yet understanding awareness, tinged with a hint of mischievous glee, those were among her gifts to the world. My fondest memories of her were how she graciously, but quite cautiously allowed me, a dangerous one of “those” (aka “males”), to participate in the nascent women’s group in the mid 1970’s in Hyde Park, Chicago. How she was creating a new kind of being and living along with all the wonderful women was beautiful to witness. It was such a deep moment in my experience that I was instantaneously committed to being a life-long feminist on the spot. And how, when Margot Browning and I were visiting Mary and Gene in NYC going to dinner and a modern dance concert, she at one point pulled me aside for a “reality moment” something like this: “Bill, you realize he (Gene) is really “out there,” really “on the edge.” You have to know that.” It brought me a huge amount of relief in my decades long attempt to understand Gene’s very rigorous and difficult experiential philosophy and put it into practice. I am saddened and once again touched by the loss of Mary, and cannot imagine how difficult it must be for Gene. Thank you, Mary.
Frans Depestele Says:
April 2nd, 2015 at 9:07 pm
I was shocked by the news of Mary’s passing. It continues to make me sad. I remember images of several encounters, meetings and exchanges.
I will keep with me especially the last one on the CC List last October 27th: ”For several weeks now, NY, leaves have been raining. They are a brilliant red, intense yellow and from the left I see a deep purple leaf from the Dogwood trees. The room I mostly live in has 8 windows and a glass french door. As I sit looking at them every time there is a gust of wind, 20-30 leaves gently float down from the trees. While I sit and watch what comes to me is “oh, I am not seeing the wind as one thing and the leaves as another and somehow they got together. I experience that they are original first interacting!” It deepens my appreciation to actually feel them as one process.”
Just a couple of weeks ago I read a nice article of hers: Hendricks, M. (2009). Experiencing Level: An instance of developing a variable from a first person process so it can be reliably measured and taught. Journal of Consciousness Studies, 16, no. 10–12, pp. 129–55.
Mary was, with Gene, a pioneer of the Focusing movement, by her work on experiential psychotherapy, TAE, and felt sense literacy. I feel, we cannot honour her better than by continuing her work.
Jill Drummond Says:
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:06 pm
I’m grateful to Mary for pointing to the “revolutionary pause” and for her sustaining work at the Focusing Institute. I didn’t know her personally, but felt her presence through these remarkable offerings.
Doug Thiers Says:
April 3rd, 2015 at 11:01 am
I remember particularly Mary’s kindness as expressed in her thoughtfulness. When I first became involved in the Focusing Community 20 years ago, her welcoming manner helped my participation greatly.
Erna de Bruijn Says:
April 3rd, 2015 at 1:34 pm
When I remember Mary, I sense a greyish-blue appearance, almost transparent, speaking softly yet glowing with enthusiasm, listening with genuine interest, and preferring a gentle touch over a big hug. I sense her as fragile, yet incredibly strong in fostering what really matters to her.
With love, respect and gratitude towards Mary, Erna de Bruijn
judy moore Says:
April 3rd, 2015 at 4:14 pm
I share Campbell Purton’s appreciation of the support we received from Mary to launch focusing training at our university and have very warm memories of the time that the three of us spent together at Durham, where Mary had come to speak about focusing to the British Association of the Person-Centred Approach. I learnt of Mary’s passing as I stood among the standing stones of a burial chamber in Wales, where many emails had appeared on my phone as I suddenly had a signal, being at the top of a hill. Learning this sad and shocking news in a sacred place somehow felt very special and ‘right’. My contact with Mary began around the candlelit procession to the Tomb of St. Cuthbert that Campbell has written about. Our coming together in Durham signalled the beginning of an almost magical few years that enabled us to introduce focusing training (and subsequently research) into our university. It felt as if Mary was part of that very special energy, a contact ‘out of time’ that has enriched not only our own lives but the life and work of so many of our students. Thank you so much, Mary. I loved our time together and will always be grateful to you for the impact you had on my life. Judy
marta stapert-wezelenburg Says:
April 3rd, 2015 at 4:21 pm
Memory:
Mary and I sit in her living room, looking at videotapes, how I integrated Focusing in Child Therapy and trained teachers in foucusing attitude in the classroom. Mary let a sigh of relief: “Now I understand what Focusing with Children means”. Mary through the years supported me whenever she could, to develop Children Focusing. I am deeply grateful. Saddened by her death I am with Gene and Elisa, wishing them Focusing can support them in their loss and grief. marta
Margo Steinfeld Says:
April 3rd, 2015 at 5:37 pm
I am sitting in shock at the news of Mary’s passing having lacked connection with her for more years than I can remember. Yet my long Focusing connection began with Mary at the helm as a powerful support figure guiding the way. I remember years ago speaking with her about how to use technology as a means to reach out to the world-wide community to make Focusing accessible through teleclasses. I as well as innumerable others have benefited with continued learning, and for that I am so grateful.
Her connection with Gene for me was a given. And so I open my heart to Gene and loved ones in managing life without his dear partner in life. With peace to the ongoing process of healing from the deep loss.
Margo
Enrique Aguilar Says:
April 3rd, 2015 at 6:08 pm
Dear Mary, I am sorry that you have left us so soon. Though we have never met face to face, I remember that you helped me in my dissertation about the Experiencing Scale. And I could listen to you and understand your teaching seeing the TAE’s dvd. I am sure that where you are now the languages do not exist, so I am going to continue in Spanish, in which I’m fluent. No sé si recuerdas que estuviste a punto de venir a Madrid a conocernos. Me hubiera gustado, pues Carlos nos hablaba muy bien de ti, de tu capacidad para dirigir el Instituto y de tu simpatía personal. Estoy seguro de que has sido un gran apoyo a Gene, que ahora notará tu falta enormemente. Las pérdidas de personas todavía jóvenes nos dejan sin palabras. Cada uno tendrá una sensación sentida que tendrá que escuchar. Te recordaré siempre servicial y cercana.
Un abrazo
Enrique Aguilar
Marine de Fréminville Says:
April 4th, 2015 at 1:56 pm
Conversation avec Mary. Chère Mary,Depuis que j’ai appris votre décès,depuis une semaine déjà, je me sens en lien avec vous quasiment tous les jours. Le 29 mars, j’ai écouté mon ressenti corporel qui m’a amené à reprendre la route que nous avions prise en direction de Bromont où allait avoir lieu la 20 ème conférence internationale de Focusing en 2008 (rêve en gestation depuis 2002!) Seulement je me suis arrêtée avant et ai partagé avec vous Mary, la visite d’une érablière, c’est “le temps des sucres” comme on dit au Québec. Et j’en ai trouvé une parfaite pour la circonstance (moins de monde, un âtre à l’extérieur, un terrain de jeu pour les enfants). J’ai pu déguster une minuscule assiette de desserts au sirop d’érable et m’enfoncer dans les bois. Et là, j’ai découvert le FELT SENSE des érables! Chaque arbre portait 3 seaux pour l’écoulement de la sève mais celle-ci s’écoulait différemment dans chaque seau sans doute en fonction de l’exposition au soleil, à l’ombre et au vent! J’ai partagé intérieurement avec vous cette intéressante découverte. Puis ces derniers jours j’ai relu votre article “Focusing as a Force for Peace: The Revolutionary Pause” que je voulais traduire en français depuis des années! Mais j’étais toujours arrêtée par l’expression “Revolutionary Pause” which triggered lot of inconfortable feelings, then while Focusing with you and me, interactively, came a title which fits so well inside: Focusing comme Force pour la Paix: La Pause Libératrice. Et J’ai commencé la traduction en français en hommage à votre apport au Focusing. Je viens encore ici vous remercier pour votre soutien tout particulier lors de mon expérience de Focusing en Équateur et de la découverte de la PAUSA avec William Hernandez et son équipe en août 2010.With all my love.
Moira Brennan Says:
April 4th, 2015 at 2:48 pm
Knowing Mary changed forever the way I listen to others, and the way I understand I might be listened to. I recall vividly the expression on her lovely face when she was hearing me, or someone to whom she was listening. I’d never seen such total presence on behalf of another. It was shocking, in the best sense. Shocking in a way that can open you up (did open me up) to a new dimension of life experience. There are really no words for the depth of my gratitude. My deepest sympathy to Gene and all of Mary’s family and friends. I feel acutely lucky and blessed to have encountered her grace, and I wish for her a purely peaceful passing.
Ana Gimeno-Bayón Says:
April 4th, 2015 at 5:59 pm
Mary, te guardo un profundo respeto y admiración por tu tarea como profesional y como persona. Siento una tristeza muy de fondo por la pérdida que significas para todos nosotros. Era reconfortante saber que estabas ahí. Espero que de todas formas sigas estando. Os tendré en mis plegarias a Gene y a ti.
Un abrazo
Ana
Yvonne Garcia Says:
April 5th, 2015 at 1:51 am
Mary, I never met you, but I knew of you and all that you have given. Your kindness and gift of yourself I am sure will go on.
Yvonne
Elfie Hinterkopf Says:
April 5th, 2015 at 4:45 am
Mary, Your presence has been with me ever since we were in the same women’s group in Changes. Your presence was with me throughout the years. And it is with me now. I get a very centered and alert feeling when I remember you.
With much love to you, Gene and Elissa.
Elfie
Hebe Quadri Says:
April 5th, 2015 at 5:07 pm
Tuve sólo una oportunidad de compartir con Mary, en la que experimenté su empatía, sus conocimientos, supe de su dedicación…en fin, quedé admirada con su persona , Hoy , la lloro como si hubiera tenido una gran amistad con ella, recordando esos momentos , y siento que acompaño desde mi corazón a todos aquellos que la conocieron más, la amaron, Gene, divina persona, comparto sus tristezas , un gran abrazo que los contenga a todos , Hebe Quadri-Argentina
Nina Joy Lawrence Says:
April 5th, 2015 at 11:22 pm
Gentle and precise – my felt sense of Mary. Mary so much encouraged Pat and I as we began working in Afghanistan. After a time she decided certification was needed there, so she made it possible by asking us to be certifying coordinators. I felt we were delicately shepherded by her, supported, guided a bit, and mostly left to do our own creating. Even when she was mostly stuck upstairs at home with her illness, she visited with Focusing people who came, asking just the right sharply defined question, listening, reflecting, sharing.
I am so relieved she doesn’t have to be confined by the illness anymore. We can feel her living blessing as we continue the work.
With great honoring and respect,
Nina Joy
Christine Langeveld Says:
April 6th, 2015 at 9:32 pm
Mary – in my memory she is there, presenting her paper Focusing as a Force for Peace, envisioning a better world through Focusing, modestly speaking and yet from a firm and tenacious belief within in what she is conveying: the Power of the Pause, later on carried forward in the Felt Sense Literacy Project.
And she is there in personal contacts, often a contact+: always a warm interest in ‘this person in there’ and her encouraging asking for action steps to make the world a better place.
I feel deeply grateful for what she brought and left to us.
Dutch Focusing Network Says:
April 7th, 2015 at 10:57 am
Only few of us, the members of the FocusNetwerk Nederland, have been so lucky as to meet Mary Hendricks in person. But consiously or unconsiously, all of us have felt the influence she has had on the world wide focusing community. Her wisdom, generosity and purity have affected Focusing deeply.
Thank you for that, Mary. The world needs people like you. It’s up to us to carry forward the wisdom you have touched and awakened inside us! You may rest now without pain and in peace.
Gene and Elissa, our hearts are with you,
the members of the Dutch Focusing Network, FocusNetwerk Nederland.
jessica leshem Says:
April 8th, 2015 at 6:39 am
thank you, now rest in peace. my sincerily condolences to the family and close friends, let her good energy be always with you. my heart is whith you,
jessica leshem, israel.
Banu Ibaoglu Vaughn Says:
April 9th, 2015 at 4:46 am
Dear Mary- you were one of the few people I truly feel blessed to have known. The conversation in your living room was one of the most precious memories of my life. Knowing that “you” with your sharp intelligence, gentleness and presence exist on this planet gave me hope for the world and the work. Thank you
Tina Miller Says:
April 9th, 2015 at 6:13 am
I missed the privilege of personally knowing Mary, yet she touched my life in a surprisingly impacting and synchronous way little more than a month ago.
In my ongoing quest to understand how Focusing can enhance Emotional Intelligence, I was engaged in my usual relentless online search when I came across Mary’s writings and picture. Was this Gene Gendlin’s sister? With my insatiable curiosity, I was finally moved to inquire at The Focusing Institute directly. A warm and wonderful conversation with Elizabeth revealed that Mary was actually Gene’s wife. Many fortuitous and meaningful felt shifts occurred during and followed this pivotal conversation, and I felt as if I knew her. I am grateful for her writings and insight, such as her sharing the finding that Experiential Psychotherapy provides to the client a Deepening Response rather than a flattening one, thereby allowing the client to carry forward. I cannot tell you how helpful even this one realization is for me as I seek partnership and guidance in my own personal and professional journey.
As contemplate this loss and its poignant effect on me, I am inspired by the words of Candy Chang: “Two of the most valuable things we have are time and our relationships with other people. In our age of increasing distractions, it’s more important than ever to find ways to maintain perspective and remember that life is brief and tender. Death is something that we’re often discouraged to talk about or even think about, but I’ve realized that preparing for death is one of the most empowering things you can do. Thinking about death clarifies your life.”
maggie neary Says:
April 10th, 2015 at 11:13 am
May Mary rest in peace.
Though i never met Mary or Gene on the physical level, the world of focusing has brought their amazing generosity and presence into my life. Indeed, I often express to myself ‘thank you Gene Gendlin, and thank you Mary Gendlin’. I have no words to express how deep the feeling in my body now is in its thankfulness to these two wonderful people and for me Mary’s essence will always live on.
There is without doubt a part of me very full of sadness at Mary’s demise and my heart goes out to Gene and his family and all their friends on Mary’s loss.
Blessings to all
Maggie Neary
Bart Santen Says:
April 11th, 2015 at 6:49 pm
I still remember the day -it was 1981- when Mary and Gene read Martin Buber to each other, gently, in dignity, in the middle of my house. A sensitive couple. Ever since, I owe both of them a lot.
During the last years I was sadly aware of Mary’s physical problems. Mary, rest well. I will warmly keep you in mind.
Gene, you lost a comrade. In my imagination, I give a hug to you, your daughter and your grandson.
Sumiko Inoue Says:
April 12th, 2015 at 12:54 pm
I’m deeply saddened by the news that Mary was called to heaven. At the same time I’m eternally grateful to Mary, flooded with memories like a wellspring .
It was when Gendlin and Mary visited to Japan for the first time that I was deeply enchanted by the focusing session between Mary and Professor Murayama. I read the report and realized their focusing very natural, so that I felt sure “ I can do this”. Since then I have continued with my studies on Focusing to date. I have the sense of connection with Mary inside me through Focusing. Once in the reception Gendlin with Mary came and told me “ You, as well as Mary, do focusing at the deep level .” I was very impressed and glad. After that, when Mary came to Japan alone, she recommended me highly as a coordinator. A few years ago, she wrote to me that she wanted to know whatever efforts in my research room. It is regretful that I couldn’t respond being busy with daily chores.
Mary, I would always keep talking to you what comes inside me.
Patricia Foster Says:
April 12th, 2015 at 1:15 pm
I have never met Mary personally, but I have always felt her presence all around from the very first moment I came in touch with TAE . The gems , (like her) she spread across the world will be sorely missed, but she has left treasure enough for many lifetimes. My heartfelt condolences for Gene and her family, a great loss. Though, I am sure that such a vital spirit is still dancing and lighting other avenues, God bless and God speed Mary on your journey.
” Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame!””
William Butler Yeats
DAVID GARLOVSKY Says:
April 12th, 2015 at 2:25 pm
Today with sadness I read of Mary’s death. My sincere condolences to Gene and Ellisa. I 1st met Mary in mid-70’s when I attended Changes at University Church. After being introduced to listening I then went on to learn focusing in a small group led by Mary. Mary had a very gentle way of listening to each of us being attentive to each of our individual way of learning. After being mugged off Lake Shore Drive in Chicago; in meeting Mary while on a walk in Hyde Park, Mary offered her time to be my therapist and for the next few years I was so fortunate to be in therapy with Mary. This was a major turning point in my personal and professional life. Mary understood deeply how we all have a responsibility to care for the ‘other’. I will always have fond memories of Mary.
David Vargas Says:
April 12th, 2015 at 4:07 pm
Querida Mary, gracias por tu calidez y por hacer posible junto a Gene que el Focusing se expanda cada día más en el mundo.
Hasta pronto.
Bendiciones,
David Vargas de Chile
Jan Bronson Says:
April 12th, 2015 at 6:02 pm
For Mary
Focusing Group 1 was inspired by Mary. Our group formed after an introduction to Focusing meeting was led by her in 1996 in a New York City apartment. She and Gene had recently moved to the New York area.
I remember her gentle and knowledgeable leadership. In this first meeting she demonstrated how to connect with a Felt Sense. She presented an open self-disclosure that both impressed us, even intimidated us. We wondered if we could have the courage and/or ability to “do that”. However, she was a gentle and available guide, patient and kind. Somehow with her guidance we each found within ourselves the courage and then the ability to connect with a Felt Sense and speak from it.
Group 1 was formed shortly after that introductory meeting. We met regularly with Mary until we “graduated” at the Week Long event. Our Group 1 continues to meet every other month. Mary’s leadership I believe contributed to our commitment to this continuity.
Also, I had the special opportunity to spend one-on-one time with Mary when she shared Marguerite Stratton’s and my office. We found between us a wonderful place of mutuality, trust and shared vision about life. I grew to know more about her and to experience her intelligent creativity, her warm, wise Listening and her profound ability to “know”. There developed between us a connection I will always value from this Focusing based relationship.
I believe anyone who has known her, has read her works or has attended her presentations will carry the benefit of that connection with her. She is missed. She always will be honored, be a presence, whenever Focusing is celebrated.
April 12, 2015, Jan Bronson
Conexión Más Auténtica » En memoria de Mary Hendricks-Gendlin, referencia de Focusing Says:
April 14th, 2015 at 8:29 am
[…] Desde aquí va mi agradecimiento a Mary Gendlin-Hendricks y mi homenaje a su vida y a su trabajo, que también han tocado mi vida. Y mi cariño y cuidado a Gene Gendlin y hacia todas las personas que han querido a Mary, y que han perdido no solo a una profesional imprescindible, sino también además a una maestra, acompañante y amiga querida, como revelan los comentarios de la página de homenaje de The Focusing Institute. […]
F. Javier Romeo-Biedma Says:
April 14th, 2015 at 8:38 am
Although I never met Mary in person, I am able to see how much she has contributed to my life –her contribution to The Focusing Institute as its Director, her research and teachings on various aspects of Focusing, the concept of “Revolutionary Pause”…
Here I honor her life and her work, a legacy that many of us will continue to enjoy.
And I send my affection and care to Gene and to all the people who have loved her.
With deep respect and care,
Javier from Madrid, Spain
Teresa Dawson Says:
April 14th, 2015 at 11:53 am
To me Mary embodied gentle devotion and dedication – to everything she was involved in full heart: to her visionary understanding of Focusing and community structures, to Gene and his philosophical work, to her daughter with her extraordinary music talent, for this she put aside her own needs, to the young ill cat that needed its medication, to her beloved little dog, worrying if he gets enough walks outside. I could go on listing things up, that moved und touched me spending time with Mary. Once in Manhattan, we went together babysitting instead of her daughter, because she had missed the meeting. Mary told me then about her time in India, where she worked as student in a peace project. She had a deeply political as well as human belief in peace. Due to this she had the gift to include many different developed Focusing currents in a worldwide Focusing network. Mary herself was a brilliant mind. Thank you for what you taught me just the way you were. Teresa
Board of Trustees and International Leadership Council Says:
April 16th, 2015 at 7:46 pm
At its monthly meeting on April 8th, the trustees of the Focusing Institute marked Mary’s passing with a period of silent remembrance. On Tuesday, the International Leadership Council will do the same at its meeting. As our Executive Director for almost two decades we owe Mary an immeasurable debt of gratitude. Mary gently but firmly guided the growth of the Institute in keeping with her deep commitment to values such as diversity, inclusion and non-standardization. She brought not only her deep understanding of Focusing theory and practice–including Thinking at the Edge and the Philosophy of the Implicit–but also her special sense of the Institute’s social mission to propagate “felt sense literacy” around the globe for the healing of suffering and dissolution of conflict.
Mary has been Gene Gendlin’s collaborator, protector, and deeply loyal companion and for this too we express our profound appreciation. Catherine Torpey, who as Executive Director carries forward Mary’s passionate leadership of the Focusing Institute, has visited personally with Gene and conveyed to him our shared sorrow and care. We only wish that each of us were close enough to visit with him ourselves.
We extend our deepest sympathies to Gene and their daughter Elissa, as well as to all of you who knew and loved Mary or who gained from her teaching and leadership. We hope that the work we do together will be a fitting tribute to her life of service.
Chee Seung Chan Says:
April 18th, 2015 at 3:09 am
I paused, paused for quite a long period after I heard the news of Mary’s passing away.
The memory shots of my encounterings with Mary comes out everytime when I did the pause and think about her. I need to say something to show my great appreciation to Mary about her effort to make it happended that Gene’s book “Focusing” was translated into simplified Chinese and thus made the teaching of Focusing in the mainland China much more easily.
It was I think 15 years ago, the first time I went to New York Weeklong, she came to see me in the camp site with a Taiwanese translated copy of Gene’s “Focusing” book (in traditional Chinese) and discussed with me the contents etc.
In the later years, when TFI was going to sign contract with a Shanghai publisher to translate Gene’s book into simplified Chinese for the mainland market, she invited me to work with the publisher on giving comments of the translation on all Focusing terms. That offered me a chance to devote myself for bringing in Focusing into my home country. I can have a chance to contribute myself for the Focusing community and my country, I need to give my highest salute to Mary offering this honor to me!
THANK you, Mary!
LInda Olsen Webber Says:
April 18th, 2015 at 6:16 pm
Mary was a wonderful friend during the years when I needed it the most.
Her intense presence was a blessing in my life, and her love and support sustained me through the most difficult of life passages. Her clarity of mind was a brilliant light.
I honor her deep personal determination and commitment to social justice. I will always treasure being invited to care for her and Elissa after giving birth.
May Mary’s gifts continue through the Focusing community to expand into ever widening circles of compassion!
Anna Karali Says:
April 18th, 2015 at 6:26 pm
It took us some time to take in Mary’s passing. I cannot articulate how sorry I was to hear of it, though I knew of her long and lingering illness. We had met her, in 2011, in their home and we had a most painful, still very unique sharing.
Mary, in our eyes, was an exceptional lady, carrying deeply within a most tender soul. I was privileged to obtain her trust, and be able to successively confirm it. For me was “The door” to Focusing. Her confidence on it, her personal presence, her deep knowledge in FOT philosophy and her struggle and efforts for its carrying forward process, were only a few characteristics of her genuine existence. She, indisputably, was the milestone of Focusing Institute per se.
Pavlos and I are sincerely thinking of Gene and Elisa. Her loss must have been a terrible blow to them. We hope their only consoling thought might be that she created lives on to keep her efforts alive and steer Focusing along the same straight course that she would have done.
With sincere condolences and blessings,
Anna – Pavlos
nancy shainberg colier Says:
April 21st, 2015 at 1:22 pm
Mary led my first training in focusing; she was also the first person i witnessed doing focusing. I remember being so radically moved by her openness. I also remember focusing with her, and being profoundly changed by her listening and kindness. Mary was also a dear friend of both my parents, and an important part of their lives. Mary was my teacher; her way of working and being changed my life, and i am so deeply grateful for her presence, a presence that remains even though no longer embodied.
Tine Swyngedouw Says:
April 26th, 2015 at 3:59 pm
On Saturday 28th of March I finished giving my workshop TAE in Louvain and when I got home and checked my mail I read that Mary passed away…I feel sad inside.
I’m remembering Mary as a gentle and strong human being and I’m happy I had the privilige of meeting her a few times.
On behalf of Focusing Flanders, the focusing community in the Flemish part of Belgium, I offer our deepest condolences to Gene, Elissa, your close friends and family and our focusing community.
Christopher McLean Says:
May 4th, 2015 at 10:17 am
I feel forever indebted to Mary for her commitment to the Focusing community – for the video tapes of her talks on Focusing that I listened to several times way back when; for the work she did on TAE and articles about that, which helped me greatly. And once when I communicated by email, about a very, big shift – an insight – she was responsive. I know I’m in part who I am because she has been with us. Deep, grateful bows to you, Mary.
Greg Madison Says:
May 16th, 2015 at 7:09 pm
It will take a lot of time for me to believe that Mary is no longer here with us. I will have to be back in those places, with those people with whom I knew Mary. Then I think her absence will feel real and I can grieve. I have a few personal memories of Mary: Waiting to go for dinner with her after she finished a long client day at her practice in New York. I felt nervous for some reason and at the end of our meal she gave me a copy of ECM, which felt very generous. The second was during a large meeting where my voice was not being heard and Mary spoke up on my behalf. I felt a very personal bond with her that she would stand up for me like that. She was courageous. I would like to feel that courage in me.
Pat Duffy Says:
May 19th, 2015 at 4:13 pm
My deepest sympathy to Gene, family and the Focusing Community at the sad news of Mary’s death.
I only had the opportunity of meeting Mary on a very few occasions, I sensed her love and committment to Gene’s work and her amazing contribution to making it known throughout the world.
May she rest in peace.
Pat Duffy
Jeanette Neagu Says:
June 6th, 2015 at 7:06 pm
I am so sorry to hear of Mary’s death. Please extend my sympathies to Gene and her family. She was a wonderful leader of the Focusing Community and we are all the richer for all her gifts and devotion to psychotherapy.
Jeanette Neagu
Anthony Tomaine Says:
July 14th, 2015 at 11:50 am
I am very sorry to hear about this. My deepest condolences to her family and to my very special friend Elissa Gendlin.
Fred Kusters Says:
August 19th, 2015 at 8:30 am
Remembering the Week-long (1997) where you daily coordinated the training. The weekend at your home sharing about the future of the institute and its website. Several international conferences where I saw you working hard to bring the focusing world together, like separate trees to one forest. You realized (felt sense) that the strength and wisdom of a forest is more than of a single tree.
May you rest in peace.