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How to be Listened to When the Other is not Listening

Focusing Highlights is a series of interactive, online pay-what-you-can classes.

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Evelyn Fendler-Lee and Catherine Torpey

The International Focusing Institute - Evelyn Fendler-Lee & Catherine Torpey

Where & When

Online (Class will also be recorded)
Thursday, May 9, 11am-1pm
New York time

Online Joining Information

After registering, an email will be sent with the confirmation. If you don't see the email please check your Junk/Spam/Promotions folders.

Meeting Format
The Focusing Institute (TIFI) Events

Thursday, May 9, 2024 from 11:00am to 1:00pm New York time

convert to your time here

Live and Recorded

Class will be recorded for all registrants and available for viewing for one month.

How can you get what you need, even when the listener seems unwilling or incapable of giving it?

Learning to ask for what you need is an important skill, but it doesn’t always work because sometimes the listener doesn’t do what you’ve asked them to do, for whatever reason. The most liberating skill is to be able to listen to yourself even when the listener is not creating a conducive environment. Even with those trained in Focusing, it can happen that during your Focusing session, your partner doesn’t listen well, or doesn’t listen in a way that supports you. Even more so in life, many people out there in the world haven’t learned to truly listen.  We have all probably been guilty of this ourselves, but this workshop is not about how to listen to others.  It's about receiving what we need when circumstances aren't ideal.

In this Highlight, Evelyn and Catherine will discuss the phenomenon of not being listened to, which they have experienced many times themselves. Through demonstrations of good listening and listening that isn't helpful, as well as through experiential exercises, they will share strategies for overcoming the obstacle of not being listened to.

In this Highlight, Evelyn and Catherine hope you will gain greater capacity to tap into your felt sense, even while not being well listened to by another person. Strengthening this skill can help your Focusing sessions be more consistently fulfilling. Better yet, it can help bring more felt sensing into your daily life.

Some familiarity with Focusing is helpful, but no prior experience is required. All are welcome to attend and participate.

Special Note: Make May 9 into a "day of listening" by also signing up for the Focusing Roundtable happening just after the HIghlight!  That event is listed here.


We use Zoom videoconferencing for our online classes. In this webinar format, you will see the presenter and host, but you will not be seen. You will be able to ask questions during the webinar by typing them. Highlights presenters may at times invite a small number of participants to unmute or join them onscreen during the webinar (optional).

You will need to have a computer/mobile device. Calling in by phone is also possible but not preferred. All registered participants will be sent a link to the video recording approximately two weeks following the class. So if you are unable to attend the live webinar, you will still be able to view it for one month.


Dr. Evelyn Fendler-Lee is a self-employed organizational psychologist and person-centered counselor.  She is a certified Focusing-Trainer and a coordinator-in-training offering the training & certification program “Deep Thinking to Move Life and Thoughts Forward.”    

Evelyn started her career in natural sciences and has longstanding experience as a research scientist and project manager in research institutes and industry. Since 2009, she has been a coach, trainer, and facilitator for professional and personal growth.

In her work with individuals and teams, she encourages deep and interactive thinking for original creations, profound change, and sustainable solutions. She is a pioneer in applying Thinking at the Edge (TAE) to innovation, teamwork, and leadership, dealing with ambiguities, and eliciting tacit knowledge. As a lecturer in self-management, social skills, and management courses at universities in Germany, she introduced Focusing and elements of TAE to students. She taught several TAE courses at the University of Zürich, Switzerland, and at the Technion in Haifa, Israel.

In 2020, she founded Thetaland®-Academy to bring principles and practices of Gendlin's Philosophy of the Implicit to a broader audience, using the TAE-based Thetaland®-The Game of Inquiry she co-developed in 2018. She teaches TAE in a 3-person format, offers practice-oriented philosophy classes, and presents at international conferences.

Contact: [email protected];,

Catherine Torpey is the Executive Director of The International Focusing Institute.  She first learned Focusing in 1996, in the Bio-Spiritual style, which emphasizes the aspect of grace in Focusing and which encourages the listener to fully honor the words used by the Focuser.  Her idea of how to be a companion (listener) in a Focusing session when she was at the first Focusing Institute Summer School in 2006 and saw Gene Gendlin companion others in his own style.  She later learned Domain Focusing and was certified by TIFI.  In 2014, she was hired to lead TIFI, and has not only had the opportunity to support and strengthen the organization in order to spread this life-giving practice to the world, but has also had the privilege of learning so much more about Focusing, Thinking at the Edge and the philosophy of the implicit.

Registration Details

Evelyn and Catherine are offering this class to support The International Focusing Institute. This live online class is pay-what-you-can. The suggested payment for US residents is $30.

If you need to give less, that's fine, but we do require each participant to give something. Please give extra if you can! Thank you for supporting the Institute.

Refunds: A full refund minus a $15 administrative fee (regardless of the registration fee paid) for cancellations 14 days before the start date. Cancellations less than 14 days before the start date are nonrefundable.

Registration Policies: TIFI reserves the right to cancel, change and alter the program if necessary. Participants authorize TIFI to use their name, statements and likeness without charge, for promotional purposes in publications, advertising, video, web, new media, or other formats. Please note that the class will be recorded and may be distributed to a wider audience. By registering for this course with the Institute, and in consideration of the right and opportunity to participate in and contribute to the Institute’s classes, for the purposes of its control of all video and/or audio recordings thereof pertaining to uses serving our purposes and goals, in enrolling in this session you acknowledge and agree to the Institute’s ownership of all rights in such classes, including all rights under copyright therein.  In no circumstance shall any portion or clip posted or displayed exceed 3 minutes in duration.  If you plan to use, post or display any portion or clips of these recordings, including posting these to a website or to a social media platform or portal, you agree that you will seek and obtain the prior approval of the Institute.

2024-03-30T12:00:00 - 2024-05-09T15:15:00

PLEASE NOTE: After registering, an email will be sent with the confirmation. If you don't see the email please check your Junk/Spam/Promotions folders.

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