Tapping into Your Authentic Self with Focusing

Many of us struggle with not feeling good enough, no matter how much we do.  We often try to fill this void with even more accomplishments, ego-fueled aspirations, and an ever-expanding list of tasks.  Yet no matter how fast we run, a part of us still feels empty.  The tasks never end, and each accomplishment falls into obscurity like fine sand through a sieve.

When our sense of accomplishment feels bottomless, it’s because it’s disconnected from a "base" of relational worth. Getting ahead in society entails hard work, learning complex skills, and making mistakes.  Every time things get hard, our self-worth takes a hit.

What we are missing is being seen, understood, and valued for who we really are rather than what we can accomplish. Tapping into our authentic self doesn’t just feel better, it paradoxically allows us to do more.  When our self-worth is not ruled by end results, we have more space to enjoy the process of doing something hard, to try new things, and to dive into things we are curious about.  Striving feels naturally more fulfilling because it feels more like flow and less like pulling teeth.

We can tap into our authentic experience by deeply listening to ourselves, and by being deeply listened to by others.

We can do both through Focusing.  From a Focusing perspective, a tightness in the chest or a knot in our back can tell us more about how we really feel about a problem than our conscious, logical mind.  This process allows us to untangle who we really are from who we think we should be. Best of all, it fosters a “Focusing Attitude”—a stance of being friendly and accepting towards ourselves and others.  We will look at how to engage with Focusing alone (listening to yourself) and with other people (exchanging listening time).

This four-week course is aimed at developing these skills and unpacking the path towards living from an authentic self.  Here are the specific skills we will explore:

*Clearing a mental space for yourself during difficult moments

*Offering yourself a friendly ear

*Deeply listening to another person

*Feeling the difference between listening to your authentic self and “talking at” yourself about how things should be

*Learning to speak to yourself in a way that creates acceptance and safety

*Making clearer decisions about the next steps in your life

*Feeling what it's like to act from a place that feels true to yourself
 

Hope to see you soon!