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At some time or another, all of us have been in conflict with someone that we love or that is significant in our lives. Perhaps it was a parent, a child, a partner, a friend, a colleague…whoever it was, something happened, something got in the way of the relationship.
In Social Oriented Focusing ׂׂ(SOFׁ) there is an understanding that the relationship is more important than the conflict, and from this perspective, we can use SOF tools to stop our automatic patterns of reacting and actually manage the conflict.
In this way rather than compromising ourselves in the name of peace, we deepen and widen our sense of authenticity and truth, and through the felt sense we meet on common unifying ground where we are able to hold all differences in connectedness. This allows and opens the flow of life energy, creating new multi-dimensional interpersonal healing to come into our reach, enabling us to find solutions and even conflict resolution.
By connecting inwards to ourselves for self-regulation and full presence together with our vulnerability and emotional wounds, and then connecting outwards to the other from that place, we can invite a different approach: instead of being against each other, we can be for us, for what is possible. By going from the heart of conflict to the heart of relationship, we allow the conflict to lead us towards personal and relational growth and development.