The need of death, or as philosophers said " need-to-death" has its own history like as the death itself. We can't believe in the history of death. The instant fundamental event remains as a natural nonsense which we shall think over and find the answer "for what?". All of us know the answer for cunning question "for what?" because we absolutely sure from the beginning of earth human history that such instant event is the great fundamental instrument not only for god or nature, but for us, for our human history, for every person.
We often gladly say that human natural death isn't the nonsense, but such event that is absolutely possible and necessary for our god, for our nature, for our law, social justice, defence, government and so on. One may plays with million meaning of this sense, but for me, personally for me where is the sense of my death? I must explain this point more properly. We rarely find ourselves in a strange condition of our common life when we absolutely needn't our death. What's a pity condition! - may say others. As to me, I may say only that - Let's others die but I needn't die. I mustn't defence my nation, I mustn't straggle for world happiness for all nations and I needn't to kill other people to establish the great order of my country and I needn't to kill somebody to steal one's money. Answer me then what should I personally die for? Maybe both the god and the nature are impossible without my personal death but it isn't the matter for me whether they are possible or not. As to me, I would like to know whether I am possible without my death? The history of human illusion answers me that it isn't possible. Let it be. Maybe I am mad and I need skill psychiatrist or money which I'll get for such confusion for somebody's usage. We get accustom to thought that we can deed in a strict field of our abilities where our death hasn't the place. But answer me then what people seek for when they play with human death for any purpose? Maybe it is people who need assistance of skill psychiatrist and always need money to have a good meal and to play and play with human death or with the image of human death (this is all the same). Am I right? Or, maybe I am not right?
This is only the first step to new madness. Let's give up the play with the sense of death. Truly speaking, I play with sense because people like such play and if you need human understanding you must play - people like the theater of consciousness and need such play first of all, for example, let's see the eternally modern play with the death of god. Let it be.
Who realize my death? If you mean "natural death" we needn't seek for such silly sense and answer. Naturally, the realization of "natural death" belongs to Nature itself or to God itself. But maybe the god is really dead? And maybe the human being isn't mere natural being. As I remember, last century struggle against the natural human being. One can turn human death in the natural event or in the play of language, but as to me like as for all people this is not the play or divine act. Where we can find natural death if we aren't natural beings? You assure that I am not natural being, natural animal and offer me to play with the natural death or with the sense of natural fundamental event. This is great nonsense and if there aren't any Gods and Natures there is not any sense of natural death for me because I am not natural being or good christian.
We try to build the finite world of human being. We have built the finite world of our consciousness like as we've built finite worlds of any human abilities. Are you tired? Are you tired to bild new finite worlds of human beings? The finite world means only the world that has a history, the world that can not only to start but can comes to an end. Only such worlds have the history and are real earth history. And if we declare that human life is impossible without human death, so we must declare the right-to-death for any human beings as the main human right like as the right on a human life. Moreover, we must declare the right-to-realization of any human death, realization that belongs not to gods or natures but to man itself. The sense of human death now can reveals for us as the sense of realization of our death. Now we get the real finite human beings, human beings which can realize their death without assistance of any skill orders. If we can't realize our death, so there is not any sense of death for us but there is only the sense of a murder, the sense of being killed.
You may find this funny. Maybe this is a joke. My need of death has its own history. When we start to play we forget the starting point of our game. I started from eager intention to remain, to save myself. I used to be the godman and I needn't any rebirth as a new Russian democrat - I always thought that I always deed with my own brain and hands only and if the world refuses to accept my vision of world happiness, so I must come to an end. And let's come to an end together. And as godman I wouldn't to allow somebody else to live eternally. Let all world comes to an end if the world can't understand where is the world happiness. This is the common step - you may find this in each great masterpiece of human culture. Each "godman" starts with such intention. Each godman avoid the present and seek for new gospel in the past or in the future. The present commonly remains for common people and only godman knows how silly, how weak they are. Let's greet godman or you are sure that godman is the person who can kill any person for any divine purpose? Explain me then what is the murder? I can take the gun or knife and kill somebody. But I can refuse somebody's right to die and then I am the same murder as in the first case. There are not any differences between two approach to a murder of human being. Having finished the horrible stage of a human history in twentieth century the murder leaves the strict borders of natural violence. But it is very comfortable for people to deal with murder as mere natural violence. The murder of people have more wide scale of usage. We know very well where is the evil or where is the good. We are mistake. We still kill the history like as animal for Christmas because of we know very well when new epoch can begin its stream and where one haven't any right to start. New generations decide who is blame and who cheat the youth of new culture and then thunders sound as divine critic of miserable human existence. Each religion begins with godmankind and each religion comes to an end as godmankind. Godman is the slave of eternity and it is not the matter what kind of eternity you like. Eternity means the pure history or the pure divine order of logic, or beauty, or language or the human being without realization of its own death. They are illusion because they never can be finished and remains as real human deed. Or maybe you still think that eternity is something other?
You may enter new world as a mortal being. And only as a mortal being you can make first steps and only as a mortal being you can understand itself. Who doesn't know such great truth? Don't trouble, people often start the struggle for new order of human being but often come to an end with such "gospels" for human beings.
When I decided to die I didn't know how I can die and for what. I soon tired from such decision. But it seemed to me that there was more sense in my decision then I thought at first glance. Maybe as a mortal being I could find solution for myself first of all. It was all the same for me what else can I find in human culture because each person has only one life and it is impossible to ask for another order of my earth being. Daily problems are greater for me than all cultural values like as they are greater for any common person. When god dies then godman enters the new world. When godman dies, the man, common earth human being enters its own world. And if I wouldn't like to rebirth as new godman in the realm of repentance I must understand that all in the earth world come to an end and nobody can exist without such ability. It is easy to become cadaver and leave earth world and somebody else. But it is more difficult to leave earth history when you still remain in the history when you continue to act, to deed, to do something. Truly speaking, this is the misunderstanding because your "leave of the world" as the image of human death belongs to the death that is instant event.
Let's think over the human death. Let's remain "natural death" for others gods. The death of finite being may be finite itself only, or, in other words, it may be only the history, the real earth history, and only now the death and realization of death can belongs to human being. The death as instant event belongs to murders only. Everybody can grow old. But you can't find any death in the oldage in common sense. The oldage is only the language of death, the language of a new history of human earth existence. It is death which allows us to stand in our existence, it is death which reveals for us our being which exists now as our memory, it is death which allows us to understand ourselves and everybody, it is the death which allows us to finish our earth search because from some moment of our earth way there will not be any new search for us, any new being for us, any new understanding for us, any new steps and leaps.
We always come to deadlock with the death as instant natural event. And the sense of such nonsense never reveals for us both any place for our human death and any sense of our human death. For what we play with instant fundamental event? Because we are still slave of ourselves? For what we play with the language, with meaning of natural death? We tired to be earth people or we eagerly seek for new divine boss?
The oldage is a loss of vital energy, extinction of life but where is the death here? Extinction of life is only extinction of life, not death And if we look closely at cadaver, where is the death? The cadaver is not the death. Then, why we deal with our death as if the death is cadaver? Let's remember all words and images of the death that exist among us. All these words belong to existence of one's cadaver. I know about the death only one simple thing - sometime I'll vanish into air. Nothing more. The life of my cadaver hasn't any relation to me. I couldn't even say "my" cadaver because There is not any "me" near my cadaver like as there is not any cadaver near me. Our relations to a social murder differs from our relations to our death but we often confuse these relations and confuse these different ends. No matter what or whom I can meet in that final event and no matter is there afterlife or not regardless of any logic. I needn't any afterlife now, here on the earth. I don't know why. Moreover, it is said that there is the being only, there isn't any non-being. Why? Precisely speaking, the being is given for us. And the non-being never can be given for us. Only for our consciousness. Let's remain this act for skill philosophers. It is all the same for many people whether the non-being is given for somebody or not.
I can offer to you million language games and you may give me too. I am right and you are right. Or maybe you would like to examine my basic intention to die? I am gladly agree. But your examination, your close search for my mistakes can't help me really die and if I offer you to realize your death what would you play with?
Our century looks at the death as if the death is the way to another world - that is not the matter how we understand that another world, and for many people of our millennium the death itself remain the door to another order. I would like to follow my own earth way - to die with my own brain and hands and to try look at the human world when I follow my own way as dead person yet. And as dead man I can sincerely speak to others and I can reveal my own world for others.
We always seek for the end of something and the right put to an end belong to human being and people very proud their ability put to an end something. The murder is really very easy act for anybody. I can't find any differences between murder of person or murder of cultural tradition. In any case you remain mad godman. You still think that this deed help you to become new person of new history and many children from culture play with the death of traditions. Traditions can die without your help, in other case, they couldn't be real human tradition. Human tradition like as human history differs from divine scheme. They can die to become real tradition.
The eternity perish us. We would like to seek for eternal beauty of our divine consciousness as if we don't want to say something useful to our children. We still think that the death of god or the death of any old historic worlds is the death of god personally or the death of representatives of old generations. Then the murder is very comfortable to rebirth new values and goals.
The death associates with grief and sorrow. We get accustom to look at our death as a great grief which we must avoid and we do our best to avoid it till the death caught us some day. We leave our death in the realm of somebodies violence and we are not ready to accept other approach to our end. The god deprives people of their death because he maybe knows that from this fundamental point the man can start its free way in the earth history. The death never can belong to a human being. Let truth and consciousness or any human fundamental abilities belong to man but the death eternally remain in the realm of divine order. There are not any grief and sorrow for dead body except for its relatives and children.
Maybe the one's death helps somebody to aware something more fundamental then common problems. Actual death demands to act not to relate in some or other way to it.
First of all we must to refine our own image of a human being like as to refine the images of life and death. The ruined history helps us to aware some truth but it helps only those who want to be sincere and really want to act in new history. It is very easy to think over the death ant there is the good place for such speculations. I am sure that russian kitchen will replace the cathedrals and others miracles of russian culture. The soul and consciousness of russian people exist at the russian kitchen. The grief and sorrow concerning one's death emerge at the kitchen. Let's greet russian kitchen. Let's pure west people come to russian museums and universities and they never get to know where is the nerve of russian culture. I would like to act in some or other way. The ruined history is not the history where there are only grief and sorrow or mad stream of new life. I mustn't leave this mad stream for any purpose like as I'll leave this earth word some day. Or, honestly speaking, I can not leave the presence. I am common man like as any others and...
We enter the world of non-being. The non-being is not only given for us but we actually exist in the history of non-being. We have created all possible miracle yet and we needn't create another miracles. The human being is the human being only. We have one life and one death, we really create one earth being and one possible understanding of this being and nothing more. I may be late.
We enter the world of non-being. What does it mean for us "to enter the world of non-being"? What does it mean for me "to enter the world of my non-being"? The crushing stream of russian history helps me and at the same time it crush others. When I was godman or, in other words, the habitant of common cultural realm, I could explain everybody how they must live and understand each others or something else. But now I wouldn't like to run the risk of being spoken about as witty and insightful human being, I wouldn't like to offend people ant turn they into something unreal being. The huge universe of human relation allows me to remain as sincere man and to reveal the huge universe of my inner world to those people which would like to accept it. The are not any griefs and sorrows for me now because I must to be in time for my existence. I must enter non-being to stay in itself, to stay in my earth universe and keep my world to finish my earth way. So as my inner world is not the earth eternity for coming future, I can not avoid to keep it, first of all, for myself. This world is only the human world and it demands my own assistance to exist among earth being. I think, everybody admit such position and no matter whether they aware this one or not. People are not aware of its acts but, as Marx said, they act in spite of their unawareness. As to me, I have made my choice, I only get to know that I aware this enter. Nothing more. I try to look closely at my non-being and reveal that this enter may be more important than one may think and maybe it is important for someone to enter together, or precisely speaking, to aware that we have enter the world of our non-being. Only now the history may come to an end - my history can do this too. To keep one's world is to allow it to finish all its fundamental possibilities. This stage of one's earth way is possible by means of extinction of life. In other words, when one try to keep one's world one must ruin all another possibilities or to enter the realm of non-being. This "extinction" is only the language of death but the death itself folds as actual earth history. Really, we only keep that we have created yet and as to our being - oh! there is not any being beyond my earth existence- we must keep it too. There is the one way only for real earth being - right-to-keep itself or, in other words to die. No matter what will happen when we leave the earth - the history of death comes to an end like as any actual earth process. The death of finite being may be only as finite death. Finite death is a history and there was not any other death from the beginning of human history. The death as history, real earth history of every person, knocks in every consciousness but everybody has right not to note this knock. One may refine everybody and everybody has the right to refine. Let it be. But everybody must start its way and must finish it. One may dream for eternal becoming and only eternal becoming needn't any end. Remain this eternity for somebody in the heaven.
The death is said to be the simplest thing but not for those which must realize the history of death like as the life is not the simplest thing and one must realize it.The future belongs to Homo mortem yet. Truly speaking, the future always belongs to Homo mortem like as the past always belongs. One may find here something new and offer to somebody at the cultural market. Only present exists for us, for Homo mortem too.
No matter, how I could to reveal for itself this great truth. Let's ask every person and all of us know that. Such great truth may exists on the peaks of human history only, for common people this is the simple thing and one mustn't even to think over this problem. But habitants of the peaks need to teach everybody and cry from the heaven of divine order.
Maybe the god is dead and maybe the god is not dead. Strictly speaking, that is not the matter for any real person.
As a rule, there must be the great grief and, as a good russian rule, there must be the repentance. It is repentance that serves us as the door to new world. It is the grief that must follows us when we say "good buy" russian communism.
The image of natural death haunts the human history. I don't know why people identify the human death with the human cadaver. All interpretations of death doesn't leave the field of a cemetery where cadaver decays. (Alive cadaver) There is not any one's cadaver. No matter, what "my" cadaver does when I leave this world. "My" cadaver exists for my relatives and friends till they bury me. Truly speaking, I don't know whom they will bury. I don't drag "my" cadaver with me all my life long, so how they can bury "my" cadaver? And why I can't bury my cadaver too? Let's bury our cadavers together!
So, cemeteries and cadavers have no relation to one's death. It is known that all of us will die one fine day. And that is all we know about our death. Nothing more. And the main item is that we never can die with our own earth efforts. The natural death exists as natural nonsense that have a sense only for high orders - God, History and Nature. When somebody wants to die then somebody must take treatment and all of us take care of one's health. Good will and good treatment - what do you need else!
Any kind relations to this fundamental last event in personal life remain only relations "to" or "towards" and thinkers never look closely at this event itself. No matter what kind of interpretation you may prefer since this would be interpretations of various relations whether to your own death or to the death of somebody else. XX century has created the world of human being where variety relations to human death or, contrary, relations of the death itself to human being are basic intentions of both the human being and the death. Perhaps such death helps to build and to understand something, the death that belongs to nature like as similar death helps Nazis and Communists to rebuild social life of their nations. The cultural death to which the man always is "to" or "towards" has no differences with natural death. In each case the death is like a murder and no matter who kill human being. One may relate in some or other way to the fact of death but death itself remains for man as alien death or, precisely speaking, as another's death. To be sure, the natural death is the great universal instrument of human being and one may build any being at any time - nobody can contest this holy right. Now the century quit the earth stage and what is reserved for us? The same natural death?
The crucial point for last century is as follows - the natural death that help us to recreate everything in the earth world emerges finally on our way. I don't mean the personal death but first of all, the social death of our new and happy worlds and only then somebody can think over the personal death itself. Truly speaking, one can not divide this processes. Actual finite being reveal for us its earth sense. We never find any sense of the human death because we always remain as murdered persons. The sense of such death always belongs to murderers and we should search the sense of a murder, not the death. Certainly, one may ask oneself "why should I die?", but I am sure, nobody knows why should I be killed. Any kind relations to the fact of a murder may be offered to one's consciousness and finally, - the same question, the same answer, the same nonsense.
I must explain thoroughly my "holy" decision to die because I often encounter such confusion of ideas that my explanations turn into the funny play with single actor even for me.. When I ask myself why should I die, I don't mean the death as a pure murder or suicide. Nobody wants to be murdered. Somebody wants to suicide. As a rule, such people must be sent to hospital but as to me I would like to send them to philosophers, to thinkers of 20st century. What could they advise to poor suicides, especially if we remember the simple crucial point of such speculation - if the man is impossible without event of its death, who must realize man's death? Certainly, only the man itself can realize one. Are there any differences between healthy mans and suicides? The sense of death may be revealed as the sense of realization only. Why should I die? - this the first step. Why should I realize my own death? - this is the final step. Where is the sense of my realization?
[After Post-Modernism Conference. Copyright 1997.]